What's next?

That's the big question, right? Well, it still is the question.  We have made no firm decision, except we have decided to explore both our options.  The first thing we have done is to set up an appointment with the fertility doctor just to see what he says and learn more details about IVF just so we can be aware and have more information.  Like I said before, we have been leaning toward adoption; however, that could change. We will go to an adoption information session hopefully this next week, but if not it will be in April since they only do it once a month. It is mandatory before thinking of starting any paperwork.  We feel it will be best to be as well educated as possible on both so we can make a good decision. By the way, if any of you have experience with either of these we would love to hear what you went through and feelings and expenses along the way! (you can message me individually if you would like)

We realize it may be quite a while before we get another child.  It could be months to years no matter what we choose.  I am not super excited about that wait. I always wanted siblings that were close so they could be good friends, share secrets, watch out for each other, etc.  However, that isn't how life is turning out, and that's okay. Its not the way we want it, but its what we have been given. We can either find a way to rejoice in what we have already, or crumple under the pain, and you defiantly could crumple.  We choose to rejoice. Its not always easy.  I really wish Matthew could have a sibling so he would have another playmate other than myself.  I'm sure he gets quite bored with me some days. I wish he had someone to tease, fight with, and learn to share with other than myself. Even so , we have been so blessed.  Matthew right now is in a "hugging, I love you" stage. I am loving it.  He will come up randomly several times a day and say "I love you!" and give a huge hug.  I am loving the one on one time I have to develop a deep and meaningful relationship and really get to know him.  I also love that right now we have so much freedom as a small family that we can up and go  somewhere whenever we chose since there are only 3 people to consider at this point in time.  Michael and I sure love to get out and play, that's for sure!

Why Did This Happen to Me? by Ray Pritchard. He says: “Sometimes we will face things for which there is no earthly explanation. In those moments we need to erect a sign that reads, ‘Quiet: God at Work.’ Meanwhile, hold on, child of God. Keep believing. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Let God do His work in you. The greatest tragedy is to miss what God wants to teach us through our troubles.”

There is always something to be gained or learned through struggles.  You may not see if until years down the road.  Michael and I have seen so many of these times in our lives and sometimes, not until years later did we understand. One thing I do understand, God's timing is perfect, and so much better than mine.  I hope each of you who struggle with infertility or whatever else you may be struggling with, that one day you will find the peace you so desire. God bless you!