The Real Decision

Okay, yes this is a random picture, taken when we went to Waterton Park.  If you have never heard of it, it is in Canada, and the deer come super close to people.  I love the peacefulness of this picture, and its never a bad idea to reflect on peacefulness. :)

On to the annoucement you've been waiting for (anixously I'm sure).  As we said, we looked into everything including IVF, adoption through LDS family services, and foster care/foster to adoption.   We have thought about foster care a lot, and had looked into it last summer. At that time, we didn't feel the timing was right.  We looked into it again recently and talked with many people who have done it/ are doing it.  It is extremly difficult at times for most, but has been a blessing for them as well.  That would be the cheapest/easiest way to get children here, however, we have again decided we will wait on that.

 As we studied adoption it turned out to be much more expensive then we thought it would be.  We thought about birth mothers and who they might choose.  I am guessing that most would not choose a family who already has a kid already that barely makes it financially at the moment, who has a husband still in school.  I'm sure if they really felt it was right, they would place, but overall I would guess not so much. We talked with many people who did not like the way LDS services operated, as they want you to do a lot of the work.  In spite of this, we started the paperwork and went to the orientation.  When I got out of the orientation I felt a huge weight put on my shoulders, the whole day was a bit disheartening.  As we started paperwork, we didn't feel bad about it, but not super excited about adopting at this  time either.

It was then we reluctantly looked into IVF on a serious note.  As I have mentioned previously, we had two huge concerns, health and money.   We had scheduled a visit with Doc. Foulk two months ago. Michael had been wanting to cancel it, since it was just more money and we didn't want to do IVF. I felt we should at least get educated about all our options.  We were a bit discouraged at this point, but went in anyway.  We talked to him, and he answered all our questions about health issues and what studies have been done, and assured us that most always it turns out fine.  We seriously love this guy! He is patient, answered every question we had, didn't rush us at all, made us feel completely comfortable, etc.  We really feel he is in this profession not only to make money, but to genuinely help. He really is concerned about others, and it shows.  After meeting with him, we took home a packet of information to read.  As we have talked to others who have done IVF, we have gradually changed our minds, and have felt that we need to do everything in our power to try to have one "on our own"  (in our case IVF).  We don't know that it will work. The doctor thinks we will have an 85% chance of getting pregnant if the water ultrasound goes well (which it should since I've been pregnant twice) . The only "wild card" would be if my eggs were not good at all.  He would say it would be rare before 40ish, but can't not discount it completely.

Only two obstacles would stand in the way as we see it, however, we are bound and determined to overcome those. The first one is relatively easy....kind of.  IVF success rates drop dramatically around age 38.  I am not quite 38 yet, but I am on the downhill slope. My age starts the downhill success  rate...yep.   This may mean more medication, which means more money, or trying more than once. It also means the sooner we go ahead the better. Our second obstacle, as you may have guess is money.  With Michael making under 22,000 a year the sum of 14,000 give or take seems impossible.  However, we will not be frightened by mere numbers...well, we might be a bit, but we will do everything in our power to pay for this.  One thing the doctor mention was his facility will give a 25% discount on their services to certain couples who apply, who the committee deems as "in need."  This would be a huge help. It would only save us about 2,500-3,000 but I will definitely take it!  We will be gathering all the information we need and apply shortly.  However, it could take a month or two before we hear back.  Other ideas include the 5K race August 30th, its a while to wait, but it is a drawing for two couples to have a free IVF cycle or 5,000 toward a cycle.  The more people who race with you, the better your chances. I almost want to do this regardless because I strongly believe in supporting infertile couples! I also have never run a 5K, so it would be an adventure right? Other ways we are looking into finances are to cut back in anyway we can (there isn't much we can do there, but there is always something.  We do have some savings to put toward IVF, but there is no way it will cover it all with what we are able to put toward it. We would also need a bit if a baby arrived, I'm sure for bills, etc.  A bit worried about finances, but praying that the Lord will guide us and help us with ideas of how to use our money effectively to meet our goals.  We feel we can do this. We have also looked online to find grants/scholarships, but so far not much luck. We will keep looking.  If any of you have great ideas, let us know. I am super tired and this is super long, so so long! I am going to bed!  LETS GO IVF, WE GOT THIS!