I was just reading an article on moms. It was saying how if you worry about how good of a job you are doing as a mom, then you are doing a good job. These are moms that know maybe they spend too much time on something other than their kids, or maybe they lost their temper more than necessary on a given day, or maybe their kid cried and screamed out in public or said something to someone you weren't proud of, or did something to another child at school. Does any of this make you a bad mom? Absolutely not! We have all done it, compared ourselves to the perfect model mom that everyone else seems to be in some way, shape, or form. However, if you are really concerned about your kids, love them, try your best to guide them, and are striving to be the best parent you can be...even on less than perfect days, congratulations you are a good mom! In fact, in the eyes of your child whether they admit it now or not, you are pretty much perfect. The main ingredient here is love.
So I don't do pintrest. Okay, I've been on the thing a few times to get a recipe a friend posted, but when it comes to crafty elaborate parties and putting up super cute decorations...it not happening. I think its great when I go to my friends houses who do this, but know if you come to my house you are getting a basic party and not a single craft hanging up on my wall. It won't always be clean thanks to the young tornado living under my roof, but usually he has had lots of fun playing. Its not going to be decorated in all those cute things on pintrest, but it is full of creativity. I love being creative, but not in the sewing, knitting, flower arranging, painting mode. I like to take things people might consider as trash, (clean toliet paper rolls, popcycle sticks, small boxes, leaves, sponges, whatever I can get my hands on) and create something fun for little guys or gals, or something useful for myself. I do not want a pattern of any kind. That's just me. You, I'm sure are different, and that's what makes us great. Some people can do crafts that are amazing, or cook to make it look like they are a professional chef. Am I inferior if I can not do this? Does it make me a bad mom for not making a glamorous meal every night? I don't think so. No one said keeping up with the next door neighbor is how you become a good parent. I'm sure my child loves me just the same.
Also, there are days you will have struggles. You come in a room to find flour all over the floor, or a "science experiment" created in the kitchen which somehow looks like it exploded. You will have a child who dosen't listen. Your friends will come over at the wrong time and wonder if you can actually parent. You hurry in the store while your child is screaming bloody murder for some reason or another. Or your child has just gone and asked the lady in the aisle "why are you so fat, or why do you have that funny spot on your face?" Or you find yourself wondering when the day will end. You get the picture...there are days. Those days you really want to know where the manual on this child could possibly be. You've looked online and can't seem to find one! You look at the neighbors kids, who seem to be behaving perfectly fine and wonder why you can't get yours to do that. Well, I'll tell you one thing, every kid is different number one. The way each child need to be parented is completely different, as well as their reactions. What works for one, will not work for another. Number two, remember the if you are honestly doing the best you can? Remind yourself of that after a long hard day. Who knows, in the exact same situation would someone have delt with the day and your child better than you,? Since you know your child better than anyone else, probably not. (although they may have some great ideas to try so don't be afraid to ask around!)
Then there are the days you know you could have done better. Some days you want to rewind the whole day and try again. You know you can improve. We all can. Just take a breather. That person you are thinking of who probably has never had a day like this in her life...I guarantee she has. Its okay. Take what you have learned from today and try better tomorrow, and if that doesn't work, try again. We are all human, we all get grumpy and have bad days ourselves. Sometimes its good to take a break, let someone else watch the kids for a bit, and refresh yourself and your mommy drive. Its fine. We need that fill up so we can do better tomorrow. Just remember you are not competing against the girl next door, you are only striving to improve where you currently are, and your relationship with your child. Its small steps that can make big things happen. If you are trying, your child will know it, now or down the road, and will love you anyway.
The best thing you can do is continue to be a concerned parent, and love those additions to your family. Make them smile, make them feel valued, make them know their opinion counts for something. Discipline when necessary. Teach them, talk with them. Help them realize that no matter what you will love them. Ask God what he would have you do with this child, how would he have you love and direct this child. If you are still doing all these things and wondering if you are a good mom, let me tell you from one mom trying to figure out things to another....you are! Just keep working, and stop comparing. There is a reason this child is yours. You are exactly what this child needs if you are willing to be it. (By the way, if actually ever do meet the perfect mom and I'm completely wrong and she exists, let me know because I want to meet her too! Although my mom was pretty dang close)
Tearing up! I needed this! :)
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