Where we are headed...

You wanted the answer to that, didn't you?  Well you aren't going to get anything out of us quite yet. More like we still don't have the answers. We have actually started paperwork with LDS family services on adoption, however we still don't know if that is right for us right now.  After adding up potential cost it could add up to as much as an IVF cycle if you are chosen to adopt. (although there is a tax credit for it).  We thought the 4,000 they advertised online was it with travel fees.  We were very wrong.   LDS family services does not have many people who love it.  I more so hear people that they did that and they are done and glad. The big complaint is they expect you to do pretty much everything then sit back and wait for years.  My concern about going with them is having a husband who is still in school, not making a super desirable wage.  I know that if the girl really felt it was right to place with our family it would still happen. Most I would think would prefer a family done with school and a good job. I would if I were in their shoes. There are currently 607 waiting families, and no where near that of mothers who actually place.

We have also been looking into IVF, and actually considering it.  That's a whole lot of progress, seeing as though we were extremely against it in the beginning.  We are talking to others who have been through the process. Most however, do not have a successful first time around it seems.  We do know one lady who got pregnant the first time, but that is out of 6 or 7 people we personally know who have done it. Many getting pregnant on third or fourth tries.  Costs very, but seem to average around 14,000 somewhere. (about 3/4 of our year's salary right now!)  Extremely expensive if you do it more than once.  More than 1,000 a month if you want to look at it that way.  We have heard about grants to cover some of those costs and are looking into that. Also we have found out more about the medication, and yes there is a lot. Tons more than with IUI.  Lots and lots of shots. :(.  I am not a fan of those since often I have a reaction because of the alcohol mixing with the hormone or something like that.  I guess I just have to wait a bit longer for it to dry.

We have also looked into Foster/foster to adoption. This is probably the "easiest, quickest, cheapest" way to get a baby. However, the goal is to get the children back in their own homes.  Not quite as many people have done this.  Like I have said before, my concern in my 3 year old would have a hard time understanding if we had to give his baby that has been in his home back.  I think we also might have a hard time with that where we want one of our own, and would love whoever came as our own. Michael and I realize foster care can be super hard, but also worth it for that one child you help see what life can be like.  We have talked about doing this one day early in our marriage. Its still on the table, but might not be right now.  I think I would like to wait for Matthew to be a bit older, but it is an option in the future for sure.

So anyway...yep. That's all I really have to say.  I definitely feel the pressure now, realizing this is not going to be easy, whatever road we take.   I also feel pressure from knowing that we really don't have money to do any of this.  Really.  We do have some savings still, but only a few thousand to put toward anything, if that. The rest we are actually using to live on combined with Michael's salary until he gets out of school.   This means, one, we really have to choose carefully as we will only get one shot at whatever we decide to do, and two, we have to figure out how in the world we can save money for this.  If you have amazing ideas, let us know! 

"And..we did wait in these difficult circumstances for the space of many months..." (felt that went very well with this post, although taken completly out of context. Alma 58:7)