adoption

We went to the adoption orientation today.  Wow is all I can say.  The reason is say that is I realized it is complicated to adopt, but boy it is much more complicated than I realized.   No wonder it takes 6-12 months to even get your application to the point where you can be considered approved to adopt.  We were the only ones in the orientation so it was a little bit weird, but we could ask anything we wanted to.  You have to start at LDS services by going to this meeting and documenting infertility.  Then once you do you can send in an application and they will meet  with you. If everything is satisfactory then you pay 1,000 (which counts towards the last of the adoption, but its non refundable should you change your mind, or your situation changes and you no longer qualify or never get matched up for any reason).   Then you have many more things to do, like find a lawyer, home studies, interviews, bishop recommendations, training that has to be complete, etc.  I don't even remember everything.  It is  cheaper though then other options out there, however, it can still go up to 10,000 and that's probably on the low end, which is about where we'd be.  They do group meetings once a month so you can get to know other people and be able to discuss your feelings/situations with others in the same boat.  These are optional.  The more involved the better though.

So its pretty intense, and we were a bit overwhelmed by all the information at once. I guess it is good for people to know what they are getting into.  The lady we met with was a bit odd.  She was nice, but she came across as talking to us like we were little kids whenever she told us things we shouldn't do in the process. She would shake her finger and say "no, don't do it..nope, never do it" in a talking to kid tone.  She is not the lady we will go through the process with though so its fine, but it was weird.

We are not sure what road we will pursue.  We don't want to sit idol, yet either way seems complicated and super expensive.  We have some concerns about adoption.   I'm not sure if we have the funds.  If you are under poverty level (which we defiantly are) it takes special approval.  In that case, my guess is they would approve us, but not fully until Michael actually got a nursing job.  Also, I'm not sure if they would approve a home study where we are right now.  They look at safety (which on most things we are fine with) and cleanliness, those types of things. Generally takes an hour .  However, we are pretty squished in our place and things like our closets are stacked bottom to top with boxes, stroller,swings, other big baby items that we would want to keep which they could deem a safety hazard because of the possibility of opening closet doors and things falling on you. Not sure that's a safety hazard but perhaps.   Plus I don't know if there is a space requirement. We only have two bedrooms here, and a small apartment.  In fact, if we had another baby ourselves, we would want to move to a bigger place since I don't think we would fit.  We don't want to do that now though because we get such a great deal on rent here and she never raises rent once you move in. We've lived here almost 4 years so rent is looking better and better once we look around. It fits our income where we are at now.

Anyway, i'm sure that was lots of unnecessary information, but I am trying to get a grip on everything in my own head as we figure out which course to take.  Looking at the reality of our choices I defiantly feel a heavier burden than I have previously.  I'm sure once we make a choice and head straight for it, it will be better.  Until then my head I'm sure will be spinning...so we could still use your prayers. :)