Got the news...

We went in for an ultrasound today and the news was not what we were hoping to hear, but also trying to prepare ourselves for just in case. There is only one baby. When we got the ultrasound the baby was measuring small...no big deal to me cuz Matthew measured small, he still does! (24 lbs, 2 1/2 years old).  But you combine it with the other factors, and it is almost guarenteed there is a genetic abnormality and this pregnancy is not going to survive.  The other factors were: there was a bleed elsewhere in the uterus, the yolk sac was extra large, the size of the baby, and the heartbeat was only about 40 beats a minute, where it should be 100+.  I knew it would not be good news when the first thing she said was "well, there is the baby and the heart is beating about 40 beats a minute". I knew that was way too slow for the baby to survive.  She did not give us much hope for even a slim possibility for survival, unless things suddenly changed super fast.
It was very hard to hear the news, especially after the time and money spent to even get this far.  It will probably take a bit of time to process.  However, for now she said treat the pregnancy as if it is still viable because there is a heart beat, which means I am still taking progrestrone.  This also means if the heart stops beating and normally you would bleed and cramp, this may not happen.  So we are getting an ultrasound done the next friday to see where we are at, and if the baby is still alive at that point.  We will discuss what to do then.
We realize these things happen, and a lot of people have had to go through exactly what we are going through.  However, we ask for your continued prayers for the strength of our family.  One day our family will grow, but when and where is not always up to us. I know the Lord will send a child somehow at the right place and time. Waiting is hard, but I guess it is a great way to learn compassion and patience.
The hardest part is knowing what to do next. We don't really have funds now to keep try much longer, if at all, so if this does not work out, which is highly likely, we will probably wait a few months and then figure out what we can do and when.  We'd love to hear other's stories that have delt with this too. I'm not sure when we will post again, we will just have to see how things go.
In the mean time the best thing we can do is cherish our dear Matthew, who still is more and more of a miracle and everyday. A definate gift from our loving Heavenly Father.

Here we go again...take 2

Six weeks pregnant, cue morning sickness.  Which is actually more like afternoon sickness for me...at least it was with Matthew and so far its the same. Luckily with Matthew I never actually threw up, I just had that awful nausia.  You know, when you want to throw up to make yourself feel better, but it never happens.
Anyway, we got the blood results from today's test back, and yes we are still pregnant!!  Wahoo!  We will have an ultrasound on the 26th, which is a little after they normally would. Their office has been swamped though because they just got a new office, so last week was switching everything around.  I am excited for that, getting to see the baby early :).  (well as long as things keep looking good). 
They told me I will continue the progerstrone until 12 weeks. Fun. Yep anyway that's all signing off for now.

Updates to try number three....

Some of you may have been wondering what the latest is....Its been a crazy and emotional three months.  Three months of medicating and hoping and praying (plus all the time on our own before that).  I warn you, this may be a relatively long post.

When the doctor did the tube test she was expecting different results. She said if she was the doctor she may even reconsider the course of action as to not waste money, or try only once or twice, however, she would leave that decision up to our doctor.  We are very glad he decided to give us the go ahead to try.  As we talked about before, we weren't sure what we would do if this didn't work. We are nearing the end of our money and time for now. We were thinking that the most likely possibility of having another child was to look into foster-to-adoption, and do foster care for a while.  Well, as it turns out, as of today that won't be necessary because we are pregnant! :) :) :). ((By the way not ready to tell the world yet, since we are not far along at all, so please don't post anything on facebook or tell people other than those who live in your house, thanks!)) We are so excited about this.  We want to thank all of you for your faith, prayers and support.  As we said before we really felt we would get pregnant again, at least one more time, but didn't know when that time would be. So we ask for you continued prayers that this child will grow and stay. Our percent of miscarriage is about 30% compared to the normal 15-20%, so a little higher. However, the knowledge this can work for us and at least one tube must be good enough is so freeing.  This definatly leaves us hope that if this didnt work out, it is possible to get pregnant, however slight the chances. We are greatful for modern medicine! We are also greatful to the Lord who has heard our prayers and others. We know this is another miracle!  Normally we would not tell anyone so early, but with our situation and the blog people would start asking sooner or later and we need as many prayers/good thoughts as possible!

We feel so blessed. We know a lot of our friends and family who go through simular issues have not been able to find solutions yet, and I know how hard that is.  We pray for them.  We don't know why sometimes God answers sincere prayer with yes, and others still have to wait for that blessing. But we know all works out for the best.  To those in this situation, keep moving forward, we love you!!

I felt the first time we went to the clinic we were doing the right thing. Not only we were doing the right thing, but it was the right timing to try this as well.  For those of you who don't know Michael just got a new job and into nursing school, both of which start soon, so I feel the timing couldn't be better.  If he was super busy it would be difficult to do the treatments, and the money would have run out long ago.

Again thanks for the prayers and support through this difficult trial in our lives. We truly feel that and are very appreciative. Stay tuned to make sure the pregnancy goes well, and see if we have one, two or three on the way.  Hopefully one or maybe two, don't know how we would deal with three!! But we will take whatever we get and we will be extremly greatful no matter what the case!

For information, we will take a second blood test this week to see if we are still pregnant, and if we are will schedule an ultrasound for the next week. Wish us luck!!!!

Third times a ???

So today we got the IUI again.  We had 3 good eggs. Everything else also looked good.  We thought this would definatly be our last time, but talking to the NP today she said that the doc would not be in for another consultation for a while if this time didn't work, so we should just go for a forth time. However, we hope not to have to try again, of course :).  We are not entirely sure what we will do if it does not work this time. We have spent over 3000 so far, and wiped out our health savings.  It is not only expensive, but a definate emotional roller coaster. The drugs certainly do not help with that.
It definatly hard to find out month after month that there was no success, especially with doctor intervention.  However, everything happens for a reason. 
 I know the Lord creates miracles.  I know he will put a child into our lives when the time is right, but as I said before, I don't know when that time will be.  It is hard to wait and put that trust in God, but his plan is always better.  We are still hoping and praying for a child, another miracle baby. But if not... I am so greatful for the first. He is a handful for sure, but definaly a joy and full of smiles. Growing more each day. :) His current request is for a sister.  So keep that in mind for your prayers :) (ha ha)

looks like....

Looks like we are in for a round three folks.  We were not able to get pregnant. This time it was a little more hard to get the news than the last time around because it does not leave us as hopeful for a third shot.  However, we are going to carry on and hope that third time will be a charm.  We definatly need lots of prayers for health and strength to try again.  Michael only wanted to go through this twice, but he is willing to try this last time.   I really hope we can get pregnant; however, if not, we are considering adoption also.  If we get to that stage we will also continue to discuss that on this page, so you won't be left out. :).  The other option if this does not work is IVF, invetro fertilization. We are not sure we want to do this option, as it costs much much more and is very invasive. (about 10-12,000 plus medication and of course insurance does not cover it, nor does it work everytime).  It would definatly eat up our savings and we really need to hang on to that if michael gets into school this year. So I am not sure if that would even be a real option.  Adoption is also very expensive obviously , so if this route does not work, our next child may not be here for a while...
Anyway, stayed tuned because here we go again....

Updates to try number two

So we got through the first half of the process with number two. I was freaking out a little bit because we had to do the insemination on a day that michael was supposed to work in American Fork (he leaves about 5:30am) and I didn't have a car. So we talked to Michael's bosses and said it was absoultly necessary that he gets the car back at a certain time.  They were okay with that because of our situation, and gave him an hour lunch break instead of the normal half hour.  I felt better, but still a little nervous because you never really know with the hospital. Leaving or taking lunch at a certain time is very very difficult because you never know what is going to come at you, or when they will suddenly have a need.  Anyway, five o clock the next morning we get a call saying they don't need him in American Fork anymore and he was on call.  Thankfully he didn't get called in until 6:45 in Provo. Matthew got up, and I was able to take him to work....WAHOO!  Check point one, have a car. Now the next item is with the IUI things need to be timed just so, this was going to be tricky again with hospital schedule. Michael told them he needed a break right at a certain time, and thankfully that happened.   So I was able to take everything and go to the doctor who did the IUI. She said everything went just fine, counts were good and so forth.  So cross our fingers again.
Other interesting things...four eggs this time. Three on the right, one on the left.  Two on the right were not big enough to mature (they gave us a printout of the egg sizes, kind of funny, but whatever).  So virtually one on each side.
Also when I gave the shot to myself (yes I did it myself!) I had a reaction,nothing serious. I had them look at the area, just very red about an inch or so around the shot area and a little swollen.  They told me to just watch it, make sure it dosen't get any bigger and put some creme on it to help take away burning or itching and some slight pain.

That's about all, as eventful as it gets folks :)

Here we go again!

So we got the okay to try again.  I am probably not going to post all the details again, so wish us luck!  We are excited (well kind of...lol) to start again.I am not a fan of taking the progrestrone (hot flashes were awful!), and not excited about the needle or the stress of going to the doctor muliple times in a week, but other than that I guess you could say we are.  I will let you know if anything different happens, or if anything changes.  From my ultrasound today the doc said I was "boringly normal."  Ha, guess that's one situation where that would be a good thing!