Try 5 1/2

When I called the fertility doctor (spoke to the nurse of course) to get going on another round of IUI, she said "well, you've already done four. Don't you think its time to set up an appointment to see the doctor and talk about a IVF cycle now?"  I'm like um...no, I did get pregnant with IUI the third time, I just had a miscarriage so he gave me three more tries.  "Oh, well, um...let me see in the computer, well okay I'll connect you to the front desk."  Thank you. Sometimes its hard to get past the nurses there once you've already talked to the doctor.    However, had an appointment today, and it went well. They checked also for eggs already because they did not want what happened last time to happen again.   There was a small one on the right side,  so hopefully the clomid will make at least one good one on the left.  I'm not sure if this is my last try or not.  We technically only made it through half the cycle the last time.  However, you want to be careful how many times you take clomid.  It has a small possibility of increasing the risk of Ovarian cancer if you use it too many times.  The doctor we talked to said that happens after 12 times of use, and they never come close to that. The paper I get from the pharmacy says not to use it more than six times, so we will see what happens. I'm not sure I even took it on time last time anyway.  Hopefully we will just get pregnant, right?  If not, I guess we will see what our next step is. We are not looking to do an IVF cycle right away because of the expense and how invasive it is. (with meds and treatment the last perosn I talked to said it was 14,000 ).  We have thought about looking into LDS adoption services because that is all we could afford about now as a second option. Anyway, hope for the best and we will need  A LOT of prayers this cycle! Thanks everyone.

One thing I've learned...

One thing I've learned is that I have absolutely no control over anything when it comes to making babies.  Babies are miracles, and I defiantly leave this miracle to God's hands.  We are not able to try this month we just found out.  (well we can try at home all we want...haha).  When we went in for the doctor's appointment we went in and there were no eggs at all. There looked like a collapsed one on the left side, however, so they decided to do another blood test (yippee! Not.) The blood test came back and said ovulation already happened.  I was not super surprised. I follow their instructions and took the ovulation predictor kit starting when they told me, but it was too late.  I did get an almost positive on it, so I was thinking that maybe it would happen the next day.  I took one the next morning to make sure and it was still there, but a bit fainter.  At this point I was starting to wonder if I had already ovulated.  When we went in, it confirmed it.  The problem started when  I came back with a five last time on the pregnancy test and had to get retested. It threw everything off since they told me to keep taking progesterone.  It kind of messed things up to begin with this cycle, and once you are off on timing, you can't really get back on. gr... But there is nothing we can do. It is defiantly disappointing to hear this news.  There is a possibility that we could still have gotten pregnant on our own, but that would be a huge miracle. (Which they happen, I know, but I don't know if we are allowed more than one :) ). Basically they told us next time they will schedule the ovulation ultrasound a little earlier in the cycle so they can watch it closer and make sure they don't miss it again.  On the good side, they did not charge us the $200 for this visit, nor do I have to take the pregnancy blood test at the end of the cycle.  Words of encouragement? We could probably use some about now :) I was thinking that if we only had Matthew and no others of our own making, we are so thankful we got such a fun kid with so much spunk! Even so, won't stop us praying for another one; Matthew already has names picked out. :)

My boys....just becuase

Its true....

They say trials make you stronger.  I am still not sure who "they" are, I have always wondered about that.  However, I have come to the conclusion this is true in a marriage relationship.  It has definatly been the hardest year for us since we've been married.  Not only fertility, but expensive doc visits with Matthew, and Michael has had an amazingly hard go with his new job.  There is also the never ending question should we move with Michael getting into school, stay here, find a new job, etc?  So all in all its been an extremly stressful year on our relationship.  However, that has been an oddly wonderful thing.  I definatly feel we are happier in our relationships with each other, we are closer, we enjoy each other's company more.  It has been a unique blessing.  We are definatly stronger together.  I am enjoying that closeness. We are also so fond and happy to have Matthew a part of our family.  He is a handful and a delite all at the same time.  We are truly greatful....