How things are going

Things are going well :). Much better than last time. Aaron is such a good baby, good sleeper, good eater, flexible, and half the time would rather be on the floor then held. Occasionally he will scream if he's been held too much!   We sure do love this little addition to our family.  We are incredibly blessed and greatful.  He is now smiling and "talking".  He is following the growth curve of matthew almost to the T at this point. He is 9 weeks and was 10 lbs 10 ounces last week.  So we will see if he ends up being as small as Matthew.  These two boys sure love each other.

  Side note...all is going well with me emotionally, I have been very happy and up and going most days.  Also I have been pumping fulltime still, but will start suplementing on occasion soon. its a lot of work but i'm happy with my decision.

The first week

It has been a wonderful/really rough week.  Everything went great with the birth, and I can't complain about the recovery either.  Compared to the first one this one has been so much easier.  I am up moving around faster and actually getting more sleep at night compared to Matthew's birth.  This little guy only wakes once at night so far if we feed him around 11 pm.  He will get up around 3 or 4 then eat for a couple hours off and on and sleep again the rest of the night.  He is a great sleeper! He is also a great eater. Matthew was a snacker. We fed him all the time it seemed like. This little guy will take about 4-5 oz in a couple hours with a few diaper changes in between, then he will sleep for 3 or 4.  We will see how long this lasts, but if he keeps it up I will not complain!

Matthew loves his brother very much.  He is a good little helper (sometimes too helpful!) but you can also see the jealousy.  He does things to his brother he knows he is not supposed to to get attention, or really acts up when people come over.  We have been trying to spend some one on one time just with him to help him know we still love him and to help with an easier adjustment for him.

I had a few really rough days.  I was really good until day 3 then got really bad baby blues and started to feel myself disconnecting with the baby. I also had a really hard debate going on with myself about breast feeding.  Since I had really bad post patrum with Matthew I went to the doctor and they recommened to get back on medication for the time being to make sure if post patrum hits it won't be so bad (it hit about 2 weeks out with Matthew, well that was when it got super bad and I finally realized it).  We had a really hard adjustment with Matthew. I had post patrum depression, mastitis, he was on the billi bed for several days (close to hospitilization with that), and I had a much longer and painful recovery.  It was a good six months before I felt a small bit of my normal self and at about ten months I finally felt like I was back to normal. It was not a fun trip. I definatly wanted to do anything and everything to try and avoid what happened last time.  This brings me to breastfeeding.  This is something I want to do, yet feel more stressed out than anything when thinking of doing it. I have no idea where these feelings came from. I breastfed Matthew until 4 months, then pumped full time until he was 12 months.  It was not fun, but a bit better for me emotionally.  I have never really felt a connection with my child while breastfeeding that some women talk about.  I was more stressed that I had to be ready to fed whenever the baby needed it.  The first time around I didn't know enough and I was in extreme pain for more than normal. Sometimes I could not feed, so I would have to pump.  I did breastfeed this time around for about six days.  I wanted my new little one to have the best and I wanted to give it to him. I have learned since last time so I knew how to do things so I wasn't so sore and it was a much better experience. Still, I was stressed about it.  I knew this was a trigger almost for me last time and I did not want that contributing to possible post patrum depressionn. Nor did I want to feel bitter toward my child.  It has been a super hard choice for me with lots of tears. I want what is best for my child, like anybody.  My body definatly has the capacity to breastfeed, so I felt almost guilty or selfish if I choose not to do it.  I was already starting to dread my child waking and the thought of having to feed him though. I knew emotionally it was rocky ground for me.  I tried figuring out what was best, being there emotionally or all the benefits of breastfeeding.  Yesterday I decided I will give him the best I can on both accounts, I am going to pump for a while and get a really good stock of breastmilk saved (this will be pretty easy since last time I did this and I had milk for quite a while).  Then I am going to give him that breastmilk and also supplement with formula since I do not want to pump full time forever and want him used to formula for the day we will change over (goal for that is around solid food time).  That way I will not be so stressed, I will enjoy feedings (seriously I have always loved bottle feeding, for me this is bonding), and he will also get the breastmilk I want him to have.  There still is a part of me that  thinks I am doing some injustice but I am trying to knock that voice out of my head. I am trying to convince myself I am giving him my very best.  Words of encouragement or your own experiences would be great...hint hint :). 

Overall however, so far things have been going much much better this time around.  I am very happy for the things I do have and I am loving being a family of four. It feels perfect. We may never get another child, I don't know, but I am content with what the Lord has given us.  We are very grateful to have added Aaron to our family.  No matter what I have been through  to get these kids here it has all been worth it.  Thanks for the support along the way.

                                          Family of four

                                            Thanks to Janae Browing for this one :)

                                                     Sleepy sleepy sleepy

Baby is here! :)

I didn't want to post all the details of the birth on facebook, but I am here.  The birth went really well. I was induced starting at 8 am, he was here by 11:44am.  I was dialated to a five when I got there with no pain at all, at 10:30 I was still at a five, at 11:00 I was at a 10 and ready to push. We had to wait about 20 minutes for the doctor to get there, but when she did I pushed about 15 minutes and he was here.  I tore a little bit, but not much. He also had the cord wrapped twice tightly around his neck, but they got it off pretty quick and he seems fine.  Aaron is the name we have chosen, he was 7lbs 12 0z 20 inches long, so bigger than Matthew.  (Matthew was also a week later!) This kid definatly likes to eat more than Matthew did at one time.  I don't have to feed him so many times, which is great.  Matthew was always low blood sugar and would not eat a lot at once so I was feeding him tons!  He has been less open eyed than Matthew and sleeps a lot more so far as well.  I have felt in less pain and able to handle things better.  A HUGE blessing was that I was so excited and in love with him when he got here!  For those of you who know I went through major post patrum from the get go with Matthew and did not want anything to do with a baby when he got here and had a hard time dealing with myself let alone a new baby. More than anything I just wanted to love him but I could not make that happen (now I love him more than I could imagine!)  I know I am not out of the blue for post patrum yet, but just loving my new son right off was  huge difference!  All in all both of us are doing well and enjoying the peace of the hospital.

The end is near....

I am now 39 1/2 weeks pregnant.  Things are mostly going well.   I am dilated to a four, so really I could go at anytime.  They did not strip my membranes, they asked if we wanted to do that, but I was hoping to wait until after the holiday if possible.  We said no. After I got up we asked about blood pressure because the MA said it was high.  After the appointment they took it again, it was still high and they did not want it getting too much higher so they told us we needed to schedule an induction.  They did say it was not high enough they absolutely needed to get in tonight but as soon as possible and I was not to go past my due date at all.  They gave us three options  to go in. If it does not happen before  the date we chose, we will have to be induced.  We are keeping that date a surprise but we will let you know when it happens for sure. :)

38 1/2 weeks

Good news. If you read my last post it talks about contraction pains I was having; they did do some good. I am at a 3 now, probably 60% effaced or something.  He said it was more than last time.  Baby is head down and ready to go. He could come at anytime, but then again I was at a 3 for 2 weeks with Matthew before I changed to a four and finally went into labor.  He let Michael feel where the head was, I think Michael thought that was pretty cool. Heartbeat is good, about 143 today. They gave me the option to induce, but we did not schedule anything because we have never even thought of that option, as I like more natural. They said if you want to do that, call back and let us know. We can schedule for next week, or we will see you at your appointment next week. No pressure, just giving us the option.

New experiences

Last night I had awful contractions for about three hours straight. I did not sleep from 1:30-4:30.   They were not as bad as full blown contractions, but still pretty intense, like bad really cramps.  They were about 5 minutes apart and 30-50 seconds every time.  However they never did get more intense than they started, so didn't think it was real labor.  Was debating calling the hospital and asking if they did not stop in the next hour if I should come in and get it checked.  I woke up Michael to tell him about the pain finally.  I had taken tylenol, changed positions, walked around, not much helped. Maybe next time I'll try a warm bath. So Michael gave me a blessing and almost immediately the next ones were gradually less intense and within 10 minutes I was asleep, and sometime they stopped.  I have had contractions today, but nothing painful like last night. This is a new experience for me. With Matthew I didn't feel any contractions that were painful at all, just kept dilating until they stripped my membranes at 5 days overdue and 2 hours later intense labor starting. I could definitely tell those were real! I had never had so much pain in my life and was throwing up because of it.  So this pregnancy has been very different at the end. Could be a few days, still could be a couple weeks away...

37 1/2 weeks and the Matthew

We had both Matthew's and my OB appointments today, so figured I'd just give a quick update on both.  Matthew did well at the appointment, the doctor did observe he was an extremely active and talkative child.  He said for now as long as he has good interactions with other children and seems happy we don't need to worry about that.  We will monitor him when he gets to school to make sure he is doing well there.  He is still 3% for weight (29.2 lbs) and 25% for height ( 39 inches), so still super tiny for his age. He has always been small since he was born.  He is following his growth curve so they are not super worried but want to check him at 6 months to make sure he is continuing to grow at the same rate.  I am not worried, I was always small with weight as well when I was young. He is happy, active, and is a normal hyper boy :)  He is also a little charmer.  He told the doctor "You know, you have a really nice office. I really like this office."  Everywhere he goes he has something positive to say to adults everywhere. So if you are having a bad day just come over he'll make you feel better :).


OB appointment went well. Not much new news.  The NP must have really been running behind today. She was in and out in probably less than two minutes, if that.   She listened to babies heartbeat, which sounded good.  Baby was more head up, so still turning circles.  There was not a lot of change in dilation.  She did not tell me about effacement so I'm not sure about that.  She said until the baby really turns I probably won't dilate that much.  She did not measure this week.  Just said okay seems fine, see you next week.  Not a huge fan of the girls who work at this place, with the exception of one female doctor who I did really like (who is probably on maternity leave herself by now).  It seems like the men take more time and answer questions or bring up things that you may not have thought about.  Anyway, 2 1/2 more weeks until due date...:)  Won't mind if he shows up just a bit early...but after the 22nd would be great since Michael has clinicals until then.